Today Alaythea from Rock 'n' Roll Hideaway is here to share some of her advice/life lessons in love and marriage! I love her choice of topic and it's always so refreshing to hear that marriage/relationships are hard for everyone! sometimes you just read about the rainbows and butterflies and think you may be crazy for how much effort you have to put fourth to make it all work and then you read posts like this from real people and realize we have all been there!
Blah blah enough about me! Take it away Alaythea!
Hi, lovelies! I'm so excited/nervous about guest posting over here at The Peanut Gallery. It's absolutely one of my favorite blogs now and Ashley is just so fun and sweet!
I've spent the last week trying to figure out what I should guest post about - ya know, should I pick a hobby or pastime or do a "day in the life of...." kinda post. But I decided instead to just share a few things I've learned about marriage. My hubby and I met back in 2001 when we were both very young and we fell in love right away although no one believed us! After some time apart, dating other people and growing up we decided to get back together and get married at the ripe old ages of 18 and 21! From there we had so much to learn about ourselves, each other and most of all marriage. We love each other more then anything and we knew that no matter how tough or rough things got we wanted to make things work. It hasn't always been easy or "sunshine and rainbows" but we have a great marriage....now!
1. The first and most important thing we've learned is that marriage is NOT, and I repeat not, 50/50! It's not about getting anything from the other person. It's about giving as much as you can. And in return, when they are giving of themselves as well you are getting but in a much more fulfilling and meaningful way. I spent the first two years of my marriage trying to make my hubby "give" to me emotionally, physically, mentally. You name it. I was demanding and wasn't getting what I wanted in return. It was when we both realized that it was about doing for the other person and if you focus on that in the end you both get what you were wanting all along!
2. Compromise isn't a bad thing. For us, compromise is key. We are both opinionated, strong willed people who want our way. There are things we have learned to do his way, things we do my way and things we meet in the middle on. You have to learned when it's time to back down and when it's time to hold your own. For instance, as silly as it may seem, I fold clothes like he likes now versus how I was taught. Silly but it wasn't that big of a deal for me to change my ways and he likes the way things fit in his drawers better. My hubby is a little OCD and a neat freak and over the years we have kinda met half way - he's not nearly as uptight as he was and I feel like I try a little harder to keep the house up, organize and keep things neat (he may or may not agree! Lol!). Finding a balance is key!
3. Take time for each other - especially once you have children. Our daughter was born a year and a half after we got married. We weren't planning to have children for awhile but she "happened" and we went with it. But at the same time, we were still getting to know each other as spouses. Throw a baby in the mix and whoa! So it's essential for us to take time to go out and do something, just us, without worrying about the kiddo. We try to get out every couple of weeks or at least once a month. We get "dressed up", go eat somewhere we love, listen to tunes in the Jeep, talk about anything from serious issues to ridiculous stuff, go see a movie, walk around a book store, etc. Those moments a lone help rekindle love for each other and appreciation for each other!
I'm happy to say my hubby and I will be celebrating our 6 year wedding anniversary tomorrow (Aug. 5th) and we are still going strong!
Cheers, loves!
Alaythea
1 Leave Some Love:
Alaythea! I can't even tell you how helpful this post was. I feel like Michael (my newbie hubs) and I have a great foundation, but we need to build on it. This is some good advice, esp for us. We got pregnant early into our relationship and then married, so its stressful to learn each other and deal with pregnancy at the same time. Thanks so much!
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