Today Im going to blog for a min (or 10) about the events of last Friday.
Im not really sure how to start, so Im just going to type.
Everyday I read the paper, listen to the radio, google Sandy Hook, just trying to get more information about the victims, the families, the tragedy. The amount of times Iv randomly burst into tears while driving is beyond me. But why? Mikey keeps asking me why I keep reading about it if it makes me so sad. My parents say 'just turn it off, it will just upset you.' And maybe they have a point, why do I keep reading about it and thinking about it if it's just going to upset me? Maybe because ignoring it wont make the fact that it happened go away. Maybe because the families of the victims don't get to 'just turn it off' so why should we be able to make it go away that easily? This tragedy didnt just happen to those families, it happened to this entire nation.
This isn't the first major tragedy this nation has endured, but being a parent, its the one hits me closest to home. And as morbid as it is I dare you to find a parent who didnt immediately think 'what if that was my baby?' when they first heard about the shooting. Even the mere thought of losing your child in such a way is heart wrenching, so then you think what those poor parents must actually be feeling and the pain is unfathomable.
I know youve probably heard it a million times but you literally have no idea how much your heart can love someone until you have had a child. Its like all the love you have for everyone in the world combined and multiplied by a billion and put into one (or several) little person(s). When you have a child its like you are literally ripping your heart out and letting it walk around outside your body, with no ribs or muscle tissue to protect it. Its just there in the great wide open where the whole world has access to it. And it is the most terrifying feeling imaginable. And when your heart gets hurts, you get hurt. And when your heart gets bullied, you get bullied, and when your heart gets so uberly excited over seeing Santa ride around in a decorated fire truck, you get urberly excited and cry ugly tears of happiness knowing your heart has found joy in something so simple. And when your heart gets brutally murdered, then I imagine, you do too. Because you no longer have a heart inside you, that was your heart, and now its gone. So now you are a walking, breathing, corpse. And if you have more than one child then I imagine you still have parts of your heart, but it will never be whole again. And you will try your best to heal it because you know those other little people need you now more than ever. But it will never be the same.
And this, this is just my theory as to how bad it would hurt to lose a child. To actually lose a child, I.cant.even. And as a human in general you know that anything can happen, that any day could be your last, but sometimes it takes a tragedy like this to make you remember to hold your loved ones a little tighter, and let the little things slide. Not a day has gone by since Friday that I havent looked at Pey and hurt for those parents and at the same time been so very thankful that I still have her little body to squeeze tight.
So next time you hear someone talking about it on the radio, or the Tv, dont turn it off. Instead watch it, and be thankful for what you have. Learn about the victims, so they can be remembered forever. Dont immortalize the shooter, you will never know why, you will never have answers. Instead immortalize those little angles whos lives were cut way to short. And those teachers who died as heroes, giving their lives to try to protect their students. Dont try to forget about what happened because the parents of those babies will never be able to forget. Just try to live each day as a better person. Love a little harder, give a little more, show a little more patience, be a little better.
Back again for part three of the big day! Iv been trying to post the pictures in the order that they were taken so youd get a feel of the way the day went but Im actually skipping over the bride and groom pictures/first looks and going to the ceremony first. The bride and groom shots are my favorite so Im going to save those for last :)
The bridal party walked down the aisle to Bittersweet Symphony By The Verve (the instrumental version)
Here is the song if youd like to click it to get the feel
apparently these two walking down the aisle was the cutest thing ever... (obviously) just sorry I missed it!
Ps Pey refused to wear shoes. It only took my mom and I two months and three pairs to find a pair of perfect shoes, but then she went barefoot. Whatever it was cute and she was sick. Sick babies get to do whatever they want
PPS her dress is from The Measure on Etsy... Love them! Highly recommend using them. Super cute clothes, good price, great quality, awesome service!
I walked down the aisle to Billy Joel Shes Got a Way. Mikey and I are pretty big Billy fans and I really feel like this the perfect song
My dad walked me down the aisle. It was kinda a big deal. Firstly because he's my best friend. He makes me laugh, he taught me everything I know about sarcasim and getting my way. He drives me INSANE because we are so very much a like. And I love him. But having him walk with me meant even more then that. For those that dont know he was diagnosed with lung cancer last summer. We didnt really know how bad it was and at the beginning we weren't even sure if it was cancer. There was talk of moving the wedding up, just in case. There were tears and denial. I wasnt moving anything because he was going to be fine. He went in for his surgery and all my siblings and my mom and I sat in the waiting room for some pretty long hours. They had gone in and found out it was cancer, so they removed a lobe in his lung in attempts to remove the cancer. And hey guess what? It worked! They got the cancer out in one swoop. Now its been over a year and he's still cancer free and driving us all insane, like it should be.
And then you think 'phew, dads fine his cancer is gone, hes doing really well, everything's great.' Fast forward to one week till the wedding. Im at dinner with friends and my mom calls. Dads in the hospital. He had a heart attack...
He told me his Dr said hes too stressed out. And that if he dies its my fault because of this damn wedding. Thats when you know he's feeling better.
Lucky for all of us the attack didnt cause any damage to his heart. They put some stints in and once again it looked like he was gong to be able to walk me down that aisle.
And he did. And he looked mighty dapper doing it.
in those first few steps, as soon as Billy started playing, I said to him 'I didnt think I was going to cry but I think I am' as tears rolled down my cheek 'are you?' All he could get out was a little 'mhumm' with a little quivering lip.
Then I met my honey
We had two readers, First was Mikeys older sister Lindsey
She read an Irish wedding blessing
May the raindrops fall lightly on your brow
May the soft winds freshen your spirit
May the sunshine brighten your heart
May the burdens of the day rest lightly upon you
And may God enfold you in the mantle of His love.
May the road rise to meet you
May the wind be always at your back
May the sun shine warm upon your face
and the rain fall soft upon your fields
And until we meet again my friend
May God hold you in the hollow (palm) of his hand
May God be with you and bless you
May you see your children's children
May you be poor in misfortunes and rich in Blessings
May you know nothing but happiness
from this day forward
But rich or poor, quick or slow,
May you know nothing but happiness
From this day forward.
May the joys of today
Be those of tomorrow.
Our second reader was my best man Marshall. He used to say he'd probably never talk to people from high school once we all left. One time I asked him if 10 years from now if we ran into each other in a random place if hed say 'hi' He said probably not. Look at you Marsh, reading in my wedding in that cute, still best friends, kinda way :)
On this day of love
As you are joined as man and wife
May your hearts know all the promise
Of a new and happy life.
A marriage that is measured
Not by months and years alone,
But rather by a greater joy
Than you have ever known.
May you count your days together
By the fun and by the laughter
By memories you'll fashion
That will live forever after.
May you count your years by challenges
And goals that you'll pursue
By pathways that you'll travel
On the way to dreams come true.
May you share the joys
Your hearts are fondest of
As you count your years
By happy times
And the sunshine of your love.
We gave P a necklace with a heart engraved with her name and the wedding day.
we entered into each other’s lives and experienced love and happiness. Today I
am confirming my promise for all of my life to love and respect you, to be faithful and honest
with you, to give you encouragement and strength and trust, to stand together in our times of joy
and of sorrow. I pray that our home will be one of love and understanding and patience ... not to
remain the same, but to grow better and stronger with the passing of time, and through the love
we have for one another. Our lives have become joined through the birth of our daughter Peyton and the times we have shared, and will be more complete by the memories ahead, ready to be made. I am promising from this day
forward that I will be your wife, to walk with you throughout all your tomorrows. I love you.
Instead of a unity candle we did a wine ceremony.
We had a wine from Delaware and one from Virginia. Our parents pored the glasses and Mikey and I drank the wine from the others home state.
I feel like this post might be long enough? So Ill post the ceremony pictures from the audiences perspective tomorrow!