6 Before I was mom...

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Before I was mom I had all these opinions and thoughts about parenthood that I was sure I knew everything about. Then I actually become a mom and all of a sudden I knew nothing.

Unsuspecting Fool ^ ^ ^

I knew I would lose sleep and I knew raising a baby would be a full time job, I understood when people said 'stalk up on sleep now because you won't ever be fully rested after she comes out!' Yeah I get it, babies don't sleep. Oh boy did I not get it. And it seems you can tell new parents-to-be again and again about the lack of sleep they will endure and yet it's not until you are experiencing it that you will ever fully understand just how exhausting it can be.

I got it when people said there is no love like the love a mother has for her child. I understood that it was some whole new level of love that you never knew existed. I got that I would do anything for my future baby girl. Oh how I did not get it. There is no way to fully express the instant and extreme love you feel when you hold that new life for the first time. You think you love someone more than the world and that there could be no way that your heart could ever love something so much as your: husband, fiance, best friend, parent, sibling. Then you have a child. It's like some indescribable love that you could have never imagined. It's whatever you did imagine it would be and then multiplied by some ridiculously large number that I can't even come up with. You would risk your life for this little person that you hardly even know with out even hesitating for a millisecond. It's like the quote "you don't think 'would I jump off a bridge for this person?' you just jump.."

I heard every one say how fast it goes, how time flies, document every step, take in every minute because they grow so fast. I get it people, kids grow fast. Oh lord how I did not get it. I look at my 2 year old and think 'how did this happen?' every single day. Sometimes 5 times a day. I look at my nephew and think how is it that she was that little only two years ago? How did she get so big so fast? When did she start giving me attitude? When did she start talking back? When did this tiny thing take on a whole personality of her own? Did I take enough pictures? Have I made enough videos? I want to remember every little thing this baby girl does. I try my best not to blink because I don't want to have a 16 year old standing in front of me. Seriously it's a legit fear. That's how fast it goes.

Another thing I never understood before I was a mom that I thought I totally did... only children. I never got why parents would chose to have only one child (except for financial reasons) I never got why they would say one and done. In fact I may even go as far as saying I judged those parents for denying their child a sibling, and not wanting a big family. Now, I totally get it. I totally get how you could look at your baby and think, how could I ever love anyone as much as I love this child? If I had another kid, how could I open my heart up even more than I already have? I get thinking that having another child would take away from the 100% showering of attention your one and only has been receiving for their whole life to date. How you may think by adding to your family you will be taking away from that perfect little soul. I can totally understand it. I have always wanted a big family because I loved having a big family. If I can somehow financially support them, Id love to have five children. And I still want to, and I will always want to give Peyton a sibling. But I can say that I get it now, those who chose not to. Sorry for ever judging.

Being a parent is hard. And you can hear that all you want but you will never know if you're cut out for the job until you experience it yourself. All I can really say is, if you think you're up for it, it's the most rewarding job out there. Be prepared to change your whole life in drastic ways. But know that in the end it's all worth it.

What are some things you thought you understood about parenthood until you actually became a parent?

6 Leave Some Love:

Alaythea said...

I totally get what you are saying - NOTHING can prepare you for parenthood. No matter how much you read, take classes, listen to advice, etc. I never wanted kids to be honest, but now I wouldn't trade having Gianna for anything. I knew as soon as she was born that I didn't want any more, didn't need anymore. I was one of those who judged people who had more then one! I thought they were nuts. And even now I can't imagine having 3 or 4 or 5 or anything but I do regret not giving Gianna a sibling. I didn't regret it up until recently and not just because she's getting so big but because she's at that age now where I could see her being such a great big sister! I think two is a good number!

Jessie said...

i love when i said "i dont ever want to use a binki, i dont want to use a bottle, blah blah" things like that and its like "dont say you won't" until you've tried - cause i sure did change once D came. She needed a binki for a little bit and i got her off it before she was 1... its not that big of a deal! haha. i think so many parents say all these things they will and wont do when they have children and boy, does it usually (most of the time) turn out the opposite when they are there.

Shannon said...

As someone who will be a first time mommy within weeks, thanks for this.

I'm sure I still don't get it, but it's good to know that I don't. :)

Allie said...

What a beautiful post! Peyton is the luckiest girl in the whole wide world. U must say, the entire way through this post, I thought you were going to announce a pregnancy! :)

The Peanut Gallery said...

Jessie- so true that's a good one. I did a lot of 'id never...' that i totally did haha

Shannon- I hope I didn't scare you! You are in for a roller coaster of emotions good/bad/and in between but you will love it! Can't wait to hear about the arrival of your little one!

Allie- Thank you!!! <3 and NONONO not for quite sometime will that announcement be made haha

Kristina said...

What a sweet post and really sweet pictures. Peyton is so stinking cute! She looks so much like you.

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